also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
