Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
