hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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