I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
