her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
