Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just sucked dick on a ferry
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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