In America we eat man semen.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
