And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
