So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
