She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
