Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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