i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
