I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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