how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
