VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
