You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
