Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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