I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You brought string cheese to the strip club
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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