the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
