the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
