We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's shark week go big or go home
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
