And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I cut my penus on the lid.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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