DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
