Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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