I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
