really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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