i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
