There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
