I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
