His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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