we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
