Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
