I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
