Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
