If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
