i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
