After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
