I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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