dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
