Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
