he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
