ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
