thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
