do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
