he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
