i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
