S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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