Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
