where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I party with great urgency now.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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