I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
