doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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