I feel great
I just peed on a car
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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